corruption corporation

Scissor Sharpe

2012-01-06T18:15:00.001-08:00

Fuck January 7th.

The lung trees

2011-11-13T03:17:00.001-08:00

December is crawling his way back into my skin. A little early this year, but I can feel him in my veins. He moves with the same familiar rhythm; I know this dance well.

How long till you take me under again?

Silver Licked Serpent

2011-10-06T14:38:00.002-07:00

Be careful, the Siren with her clever tongue takes no prisoners.

Unfocused love

2011-10-06T14:38:00.001-07:00

This love just runs out of air.

She's hungry for love because no one has ever put her first.

And today was a day just like any other.

2011-07-31T13:46:00.001-07:00

And, surprisingly,

I'm okay.

2 days

2011-07-29T20:49:00.001-07:00

All I want to do is love you.

Purfect.

2011-07-29T02:00:00.001-07:00

When I was little there used to be all these cats that lived in my neighborhood. They were nice and we feed them. Then, slowly, there were less and less cats. Until there just weren't any.

I wonder what happened to those cats.

I miss them.

The release.

2011-07-11T23:03:00.001-07:00

I fucking hate you so much.

I'm trying really hard not too. But this is hate. It's swelling from my heart.

And I can't even look at you. The more I think of you the more I think of how you made me feel.

Hate.

And the more I realize just how much you're affected me the angrier I get.
I don't know if it's more towards you, or me.

Hate.

And I'm furious that you were even able to affect me at all.

Hate.

So I hope this reaches you tonight. I hope you feel it in your sleep and that you dream of me.

I hope you wake up screaming.

You know,

2011-07-04T00:29:00.001-07:00

I've been bitter for a long time. But the reason we're not friends anymore is definitely your fault.

I refuse to take the blame for this one.

Fourteen

2011-05-25T21:27:00.001-07:00

I keep finding my self looking for people to replace you.
I don't understand why I do that.

Nostalgia

2011-05-23T08:55:00.001-07:00

I wonder if this is normal.

Switch

2011-05-18T09:13:00.001-07:00

Press Pause and Twelve Part II.

This is the correct order in which the thoughts passed through my mind.

Technology makes it appear otherwise.

Astronomical

2011-05-18T09:12:00.001-07:00

This is foreign to me.
I don't understand.

I have a question.
But, I just don't know what to ask.

Twelve Part II

2011-05-15T21:12:00.001-07:00

I reached that point again. I want to die. Not kill myself, not commit the act. Or maybe even not go through the process of dying. But just be dead. Gone.

This is what I want.

I have no idea what I want. Except to be done.

Press pause

2011-05-15T21:07:00.001-07:00

I need to stop.

Just grow.

I remember

2011-05-10T09:09:00.001-07:00

When I was all you had.

The truth is: this still hurts.

Smoke me. Drink me. Eat me.

2011-05-08T22:16:00.001-07:00

Why do I always fall in live with people who I think I can save?

I can't even save myself.

I have these choices before me.

2011-05-08T22:09:00.001-07:00

Please help me make the right one.

I don't care about who you were

2011-03-22T19:34:00.001-07:00

I'm not trying to change you.
And if you want to change,
I'm not trying to stop you.

"I never want to let you go."

2011-03-18T16:08:00.003-07:00

Mother fucker.

Reason #2 for you going to BC instead of Blinn this summer.

2011-03-18T16:08:00.001-07:00

I'm leaving for Belgium for a year at the end of July and I'm going to miss you.

Confession time

2011-02-18T12:48:00.001-08:00

Is it weird that I find it really attractive to find out that a guy is a Christian?

Maybe I just think he can help.

Wow

2011-01-14T13:26:00.001-08:00

You really are an asshole.

Standing in the middle of December part II

2010-12-27T13:16:00.001-08:00

Well here we are
Again.

Another western Vampire,
Same time,
Different place.

Standing in the middle of December we learn:
You don't need legs to stand;
And things may never change.

You only hear what you want to hear

2010-12-17T14:51:00.001-08:00

I hate how you're always pulling this shit.

Shut the fuck up.

An Absence of Letter #12

2010-12-07T09:13:00.001-08:00

I threw your letter out today.

It was unfinished, melodramatic, and, apparently, inaccurate.
But, to be honest, I wouldn't expect another one.

You're just not worth it.

Just so you know,

2010-12-05T18:30:00.000-08:00

I am freaking sick of this.

Just shut up. You're not real.

Well maybe

2010-12-05T15:38:00.001-08:00

I want to be someone's heroine.

John.

2010-12-02T09:17:00.001-08:00

She was with God in the beginning.

Fact.

2010-12-01T21:35:00.001-08:00

We are all exactly the same.

And still completely different.

Kurt Cobain

2010-12-01T14:54:00.001-08:00

Because it's better to burn out than to fade away.

I remember when you said

2010-11-29T07:49:00.001-08:00

"I'm done with you."

I guess that was just another lie.

You know what would be awesome?

2010-11-28T18:19:00.001-08:00

If you would shut your mouth.

Thirteen.

2010-11-28T14:34:00.001-08:00

I know I'm supposed to help you...

But it's just hard when I can't even help myself.

Twelve.

2010-11-28T11:13:00.001-08:00

I've never wanted to die so badly in my life.

Stop pretending

2010-11-27T20:30:00.001-08:00

Like you get it.
You don't.

You're not so fucking deep.

Ten. Answered.

2010-11-27T18:57:00.001-08:00

Well now I know that you will...

And you did.

I wish there was a way

2010-11-27T18:54:00.001-08:00

To fuck with your head, without getting so attached.

It's been a while

2010-11-26T09:57:00.001-08:00

I just wanted to say:

Fuck you.

That is all.

Man,

2010-02-05T14:48:00.001-08:00

I hate it how people always complain about me being too mean or harsh
but whenever I try to be "nice" they freak out.

Just make up your freaking mind.

"I don't need nice. I don't need to be it and I don't need anyone to be it at me."
-Kate Winslet as Clementine on Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

It's funny

2010-02-02T18:42:00.001-08:00

That I find you in almost every song I hear.
I guess that means I love you.

Well, that's just too bad.

Stolen: secret

2010-02-02T18:41:00.001-08:00

"You hurt me pretty bad, and yet I can't let go of those three special days together and I can't get you off my mind, I think I love you."

Dear #4009,
You're not alone.

Eleven.

2010-02-02T18:27:00.001-08:00

It's a series of small victories.

Civil war.

2010-02-02T18:24:00.001-08:00

You are the North and I am the South.
I ran.
But you caught me (by the mouth).
I fought.
But you fought harder (you used your eyes).
I escaped.
But you found me.

And in the end, He still brought me home.

Yesterday just took me hostage

2010-02-02T17:39:00.001-08:00

All I want to do is remain a captive of bed until my problems fix themselves.
That will take forever.
Then forever I will wait.

My heart is small

2010-02-02T17:03:00.001-08:00

For a reason.
It makes for less room for cracks.
But the room that's missing has caught up with me, I think.
I've run out of room in this cavity and I have no where to put these things.
And so it's bursting at the seams.
Creating more cracks then I would have ever imagined.

Ten.

2010-01-31T22:01:00.001-08:00

Will you keep me warm?

We all make mistakes

2010-01-31T21:23:00.001-08:00

So tell me,
Why do I feel like I'm the only one?

I wrote about you again today.

2010-01-26T19:37:00.001-08:00

That was just another mistake.

The truth is

2010-01-18T20:36:00.001-08:00

So you came to me
With all your bad dreams
And so torn up at the seams

But don't bother to watch
what you say
Because no matter what
You'll have you're way

Yeah I stitched you back up
A thread right down the middle
I thought this would tie us together
But we fell right apart

"Will I see you again?"
She asked.
"I wouldn't doubt it."
He replied.

But I do.

You left me.
Did I do something wrong?
You left me.
Was she more appealing?
You left me.
Do you even know what you did?

The truth is
Maybe I loved you.
I think you loved me that day too.
But I guess I'll never know.

So there it is.
I said it.
I love you.
Is that what you wanted?

Now leather is tough
But my heart is tougher
Yeah I'm a girl who likes to see men suffer.

What will I do

2010-01-18T20:09:00.001-08:00

When I'm all alone with only dreams of you
That won't come true.
What will I do?

There's something about abandonment.

2010-01-10T17:13:00.001-08:00

An attraction to seperation.

Birthday Blues

2010-01-06T20:58:00.001-08:00

The last day of waking up in this age.
The last day of going to sleep in this age.

Goodbye dear friend.
Though our time together was brief,
I won't forget how our travels have changed me.
Your year will live one within me.
Forever adding to me.

Adieu.

Nine.

2010-01-05T20:47:00.001-08:00

I remember the first time I lost.
I bet you remember too.

It's official

2010-01-05T15:51:00.001-08:00

I'm the girl who's got nothing to lose.

Maybe cause I've already lost it all.

Sometimes the things you say

2010-01-04T19:41:00.001-08:00

Scare me more than you could ever know.

Read it with a box of tissues.

2010-01-02T16:20:00.001-08:00

The story of my life.

Well, not anymore.

Maybe

2009-12-27T14:41:00.003-08:00

I was scared.

Maybe.

Disclaimer

2009-12-27T14:41:00.001-08:00

If this doesn't make any sense,
It's okay.
It's mostly for me anyway.

Standing in the middle of December

2009-12-26T22:26:00.001-08:00

We are reminded that nothing is certain and life is precious.

I witnessesed something tonight.
In fact I stand before it now.
Right here on the corner of King David and Mesa street
Thick smoke clouds fill the air as passers by crowd around in the frigid air.

I took one last look as I walked away
All those flashing lights fell silently behind me
The urgent calls in the night
I don't know who lives there
But I still can't join in on these jokes

I suddenly remembered the ambulance.
It's own sirens screetching down El Indio highway.
Fatal?
I don't know.
I probably never will.
Fire has always been my personal least prefered was to die.
As far as preferences go in dying that is.

And in this moment I thought about God.
Everything He's done for me.
And everything I've done to Him.
This is just one more wake up call
Will I sleep it off like I did the others?
Sleep seems so easy when your tired.
Tired of fighting, of pretending, of hiding.
But this narcolepsy has it's downfalls.
Especially when the dreams stop coming.

"lately I'm not dreaming, so what's the point in sleeping? It's just that at night I've got no where to hide." - Andrew McMahon

Maybe, I'm tired of hiding.
I do need You.
I always have.

I've come to realize

2009-12-26T20:46:00.001-08:00

That I'm not in the least bit charming.

I guess I'll just have to learn to live with that.

Johnny Cash Is a friend of mine.

2009-12-26T20:44:00.003-08:00

I killed a man in Reno just to watch him die.

The Diary of a Bad Day

2009-12-26T20:44:00.001-08:00

It's hard to reread these words.
And yet, I still can't bring myself to delete them.
They are my history

As it turns out

2009-12-23T23:31:00.001-08:00

My middle name is eloquence.

Six

2009-12-23T15:29:00.001-08:00

I'm sick.

The truth is

2009-12-23T15:22:00.001-08:00

I'm a liar.

Psalms 31:16

2009-12-23T09:54:00.001-08:00

Let Your face shine on Your servant;
Save me in Your unfailing love.

Description.

2009-12-23T08:41:00.001-08:00

Two-faced.

I've got this thing that I consider my only art,

2009-12-22T22:21:00.001-08:00

Of F***ing people over.

I need to,

2009-12-22T22:15:00.001-08:00

Relearn how to be a human.

What they say is true...

2009-12-22T22:14:00.001-08:00

I am selfish.

Eight

2009-12-22T22:08:00.001-08:00

So I said it.

1...2...3...

2009-12-22T22:05:00.001-08:00

It's official.

I messed up.

I'm sorry.

So I'll admit,

2009-12-22T22:04:00.001-08:00

I sometimes choose to bring people down with me.

"I could tell."

2009-12-22T17:45:00.001-08:00

What the heck is that supposed to mean?

Walking in a Winter Wonderland.

2009-12-22T12:35:00.001-08:00

"If the world is cold, make it your business to build fires."

Seven

2009-12-22T12:31:00.001-08:00

"Life isn't about finding yourself. It's about creating yourself."

Save me.

2009-12-22T12:30:00.001-08:00

I said: Save me, I need You.
And He told me: Sometimes The Day includes the night, but The Night never includes the day.

Five

2009-12-17T19:28:00.001-08:00

I can't do this anymore.

Four

2009-12-17T19:17:00.001-08:00

December 17, 2009.

The day I decided against it all.

Three

2009-12-17T18:31:00.001-08:00

This thing called breathing, it's just getting harder.

Two

2009-12-17T18:29:00.001-08:00

You may have too kill a man, but you don't have to be rude about it.

One.

2009-12-17T18:27:00.001-08:00

Life is a comedy with dire consequences.



2009-12-15T20:28:00.001-08:00

Monster

2009-12-14T11:15:00.001-08:00

I would like to say
That everything is a mess.
That regardless of how things might seem,
They're wrecked
Like the ships on this dark ocean bottom.
But I can't.
I can't bring myself to tell you how much I love you.
Or how much I hate you because of it.
I refuse to be the victim.
But I already am.
You got me once.
Twice.
Three times baby.
Once for every word I won't say to you.
Once for every word you won't hear.
Once for every word neither of us wants to hear.
First, for sport. I suppose.
Then again for how this makes us feel.
Last, for you. And all the selfish things you do.
I am a monster.
I guess that makes you one too.

5 word novels

2009-12-14T11:02:00.001-08:00

Why yes, I am disturbed.

Ernest Hemingway; 6 word novels.

2009-02-06T14:44:00.000-08:00

we never really were in love.

Prewriting

2008-12-20T12:50:00.001-08:00

to begin i would just like to say that this,
for the most part,
a work of fiction.
and should be treated as such.
the names are false.
the actions are untrue.
memories, emotions, futures,
they are all created by an authors pen.

* * *

there is a girl.
her actions define her,
as they would anyone.
her words define her,
as do everyones.
her memories define her,
as she creates them.
but she is still undefined.

welcome, blake anebelle medina.
her story starts here.

the decision.

2008-12-19T17:15:00.000-08:00

so i've decided to write a short(ish) story.
we'll see how it goes.

Top 10 reasons...

2008-11-21T14:57:00.000-08:00

I don't particularly care for highschool:
10) Homework; there is far to much of it.
9) This takes up about 7-8 hours of your day.
8) No matter what ever one else says, chances are you won't use half of the stuff
you learn.
7) The school lunch lines are too long and not well enough stocked.
6) The building is usually kept at a "comfortable" below 20 degrees.
5) Our school is almost acedemically unacceptable as is so, no matter how good
my grades are chances of getting into a good college are slim.
4) My desired career does not require me to discover the length of the unlabled
hypotenuse of any given right triangle (or find "x")
3) Frequent paper cuts
2) A good number of people are: rude, uninteresting, awkward, annoying, loud,
drug addicts, sex addicts, attention whores, regular whores, thugs, thieves,
crimials, pests, suicidal, too up tight, ect. or any combination of the given traits.
And the number one reason I don't particularly care for highschool:
1) The people you thought you were friends with in Junior High turn out to be
users, liars, hypocrites, ect.

because none of this is true,

2008-09-06T15:06:00.000-07:00

you'll soon realize

and i've come to realize

2008-08-21T16:16:00.001-07:00

that it's been raining
everday since,

Today feels like,

2008-08-16T11:33:00.000-07:00

the first day of my life
that i don't know what to say,

maybe...

it is.

So Lately,

2008-08-16T10:48:00.000-07:00

This makes all the difference,
this will take us there
this is something everyone wants,
and something everyone loaths
this is change.

close your eyes,
now open them agian.
you never open your eyes
to the same world twice
this is the lesson.

think about yesterday,
think about today,
now, think about tomorrow.
We'll think about the years, together or apart
this is the proof.

remember Her life,
remember Her smile, her courage.
remember, She was sixteen.
so were they
this is the situation.

now this,
this is something else
we haven't seen before,
we haven't felt before,
something we haven't been before.

Dedicated to Her.
this ones for You,
and everyone that you knew
"the hardest part of this is leaving you."

read along

2008-04-01T19:11:00.000-07:00

so we'll see how this goes
right along with everything else
because i don't think anyone else knows
and i don't know if anyone else feels,
not like me, but i guess
we'll just have to wait
and see

it happened spontaniously
no explainations
i'm sure you understand
i can tell
but then again i seem to read everyone wrong
just when i think i've got you figured out,
well i'll lie and say "i already do(n't)"
and just when i think it'll be alright
we'll "set sail for epic fail"

so this is the short and the long
but mainly the short
because if it was the long the story would be done
and i can't bare too think my story is finished,
at least without you playing the handsome lead

i suposed we'll have to read along
if it's meant to be
your part will write itself.

bombshell forget-me-nots

2008-03-10T21:04:00.000-07:00

It doesn't makea differnce that her kisses make you sick,
but don't ytou miss those cherry lips?
that flavor so easily forgotten
to be replaced by something so disspointing
turn back to page one and reread
if you need the help,
remembering isn't always as hard as forgeting
but to every rule there are eceptions
and for every story there is an end
so read slowly and comprehend
for you can never be sure
if your story has a happy ending,
or even a sturdy begging.

one thing is certain:
washing this heart free
of all your poison will
not be a feat soon forgotten.
Now thats a story worth reading.

I make this stuff up in my sleep

2008-03-10T20:52:00.000-07:00

this lake is an ocean
but for those of you who believe in oceans
I regret to inform
will be dissapointed

the waters of tranquility never known
to early replaced by waves of wrath
the lovely pigments never shown
run out by flowing crimson
tanted by the sin of the city

this lake is an ocean
this ocean is a city
the city is a bloody war
and like so many other things
this story is started
but never finished.

welcome

2008-03-07T18:14:00.000-08:00

i guess i'll start from the beginging and work my way forward.
although things don't always make sence even if they're in order,
so here we go, get ready and strap in for the corruption corporation will so be taking over.
Welcome, and prepare to be corrupted.