Monster

I would like to say
That everything is a mess.
That regardless of how things might seem,
They're wrecked
Like the ships on this dark ocean bottom.
But I can't.
I can't bring myself to tell you how much I love you.
Or how much I hate you because of it.
I refuse to be the victim.
But I already am.
You got me once.
Twice.
Three times baby.
Once for every word I won't say to you.
Once for every word you won't hear.
Once for every word neither of us wants to hear.
First, for sport. I suppose.
Then again for how this makes us feel.
Last, for you. And all the selfish things you do.
I am a monster.
I guess that makes you one too.